Title : A Part of Three - Part I
=====================================================================
[1]
A deep frown creased his forehead as he walked briskly up the street to his apartment block. Lost in his own thoughts, he stumbled over a rubbish can, carelessly forgotten, lying in his path. With an oath and a well-aimed kick, he smoothly booted the offensive receptacle back into its designated corner, and then grunted with satisfaction.
A biker whizzed by just then, squishing dirty drain water onto the leg of his pants and his favorite Italian leather shoes. He yelled and cursed, and crudely wagged his finger at the biker’s back.
It had been one thing after another, marking it decidedly a disastrous day. Everything that could go wrong had gone wrong.
In short, Jon was in a foul mood.
He sighed as he arrived home. He slipped his key into the door and pushed it open. Throwing his keys into the tray he peered into the living room, and scowled. Walking quickly past the sofa, he made straight for the bedroom door.
“Hey Honey!” Tim called out, curled up in Nick’s arms. They had been making out on the sofa.
Jon felt an irrational surge of anger and jealousy. Giving the pair a murderous glare, he ignored the greeting and headed into the bedroom.
Nick broke away and called out after Jon. “Hey babe! Why don’t you c…”
Slam!
“What’s eating him?” Nick asked, staring at the closed door.
Tim looked unhappy. He disengaged himself and shrugged. “He’s been mad a lot lately …”
“Yeah, I kinda noticed. Sorry babe. I gotta go see what’s going on with Jon.”
“Can you please ask him what he’s upset about?” Tim asked in a small voice. He hated scenes and would rather avoid confrontations of any kind if he could. Nick, on the other hand, grabbed them by their horns, fearlessly charging ahead. That was one of the reasons Tim admired Nick so much.
“I will do just that, babe.” Nick planted a kiss on Tim’s head as he slid out from under him.
Tim watched with trepidation as Nick made his way to the bedroom. As Nick reached to open the door, he turned back and smiled. “Tim darling, why don’t you get dinner started? Something simple will do.”
Tim got up and obligingly headed towards the kitchen. He didn’t know what it was but Nick could make him do just about anything. When it was just Jon and him living together, they constantly argued and fought over little things. But ever since Nick moved into their lives, he found that he never fought with Nick. He even fought less with Jon.
Nick had a way about him. When he asked you to get something done, it seemed like a reasonable request and you not only would get it done, you wanted to get it done to please him. Tim loved the way Nick’s eyes lit up when Nick thanked him or praised him.
Now, if only Jon would get a grip and get over his patch of ‘bad mood’, the three of them would have the perfect relationship.
[2]
Jon was lying face down on the bed when the door opened. He knew immediately which of his partners had come in. Tim never came near him when he was in full tantrum mode; he shied away when Jon was like this. Besides, Jon got more irritated if Tim tried to talk him out of it. He hated being ‘smothered’.
The bed moved as Nick sat down. A hand began to stroke Jon’s back.
“Hey, what’s the matter, Jon? Are you not feeling well?”
Jon stiffened when he felt Nick’s hand, but the touch was firm yet soothing. He could live with that. Had the touch been apologetic or timid, Jon would have blown up, but Nick’s caress was kind of … proprietary.
Jon soon found himself easing into the long slow strokes. He shrugged when Nick shook him a little.
“Babe, turn around and talk to me,” Nick said.
“Go away and leave me alone,” Jon murmured dutifully; it was the expected standard response.
“C’mon, let me look at you,” Nick said calmly, like he expected obedience.
Grudgingly, Jon turned around and stared sullenly up into Nick’s face. Nick’s eyes were questioning. ‘What’s wrong, babe? Did you have a bad day?”
Jon’s jaw tightened. “No. Everything’s fine!” he snapped.
Yes, he had had a bitch of a day – wasn’t that clear enough? In fact, he had had a bitch of many a days running. But who gave a shit?
“Just leave me the fuck alone!”
If Jon had expected a reaction, he was disappointed. Nick continued to stare into his eyes.
“You know I can’t do that, not when you are like this,” Nick said, moving up to the top of the bed.
Jon glared. “Like what?”
Tim would have slunk away by now.
Instead of being intimidated, Nick pulled Jon to his side. “Come here, you grouch. Comfy? Settle down now.” He fussed with the covers and Jon let him. “Look, I know something is bothering you. But there’s no reason to take it out on yourself and those around you. You can talk about it, you know. You are an adult. You have the ability to reason and communicate intelligently. I’ve seen you do that. Now, wanna tell me what is wrong?”
Nick’s quiet teasing seemed to have a positive effect on Jon, and while he shook his head stubbornly, he snuggled into Nick’s arms.
Nick sighed and held him close. “Jon, tell me why you are so angry.” Nick looked down at the rigid face and continued. “Let me guess. It has something to do with Tim and me?”
The question was met with a shrug.
“Ok, at least we’ve established that. And has this got to do with the arrangement Tim and I have agreed on?”
“I can’t believe you guys would ….” The words died on Jon’s lips as he clamped up again.
“Jon, listen to me. There is nothing wrong about the arrangement Tim and I have. There is no reason for you to feel uncomfortable about it. Let’s talk about it … maybe you don’t fully understand ….”
Jon sat up quickly, cutting Nick off. “No fucking way! I don’t need to discuss this!”
“Jon, do you even know how it works?”
Jon pushed away from Nick, suddenly finding his touch disturbing. “I don’t need to have my ass spanked like a spoiled little kid!”
Nick let Jon pull away. He sighed with frustration. “How many times have we been through this, Jon? This is not what it’s about. Tim feels …”
“I don’t wanna hear it!” Jon pressed his hands to his ears, much like a spoilt little kid himself.
“Jon,” Nick said, his voice patient, “Jon, please try to understand. It’s about individual needs.”
“I said I don’t want to hear it!”
Nick shook his head, and his voice was firm. “Tim does not love you less just because he wants this kind of relationship with me and I don’t love Tim more than you because I share this with him and not with you. You know that, I know you do, you just don’t want to accept it.”
Nick turned Jon’s face around and looked at him. “I am going to say this again, and again and again till you get it into your stubborn little head. I love you just as I love Tim. You don’t have to have a discipline relationship with me if you don’t want to. It’s OK! I mean it. I don’t have to have it with Tim either, but he wants it. Tim needs to have someone keep track of him, make sure he stays in line. I can do that for him. Now if you don’t want that, that’s fine. No one says we have to do everything the same way.”
Jon stared miserably into Nick’s eyes. “But you hurt him. You make him cry. I heard you last night …”
Nick swallowed. This part was always the hardest to explain, or to accept.
“I know. I had to spank Tim last night because he didn’t keep to his word to me. That is the way our relationship works – he makes a promise to me, he has to keep it. If he does not, he gets punished. That’s our agreement. Knowing that helps to keep him focused and to get done the things he is supposed to do. I’m sorry you got upset about it, but a spanking is supposed to hurt, honey.”
Jon squeezed his eyes shut. “I feel like I no longer know him. I don’t know who he is any more. We went to school together! All these years we were together, why didn’t he say something? He never indicated … shit! You come into our lives and in less than a year he suddenly discovers this part of himself? What kind of fucking nonsense is that?”
“Jon, do you want Tim to be happy?”
“He’s a fucking adult, for Christ sake! Does he need to have his ass slapped to be happy? God! I don’t believe he wants to be treated like a goddamn child.”
“Stop right there.” Nick’s tone made Jon pause. “I am not treating him like a child. There is nothing childish about acknowledging your weaknesses and admitting what you want and being honest about it. In fact, I think it takes a lot of courage to be so open about it. So don’t you mock him – or me – about this. Plenty of people live this way and share this lifestyle. You don’t judge them or us, just like you don’t want other people to judge you.”
Jon’s head dipped. “I’m sorry for judging you.”
Nick stared at Jon’s bent head. Jon looked contrite enough but there was something in his voice that sounded strained and bitter.
Before Nick could respond, Tim poked his head in at the door, with a watery smile. “Um … You guys want dinner? Fish fingers and chips?”
“Sure,” Jon said, with a dismissal toss of his head. “Sounds good.”
With another sigh, Nick swung his long legs over the side of the bed. “Sounds good to me too. I’m starved. Let’s get something to eat.”
[3]
“Oh shit!”Tim exclaimed.
“Don’t tell me … another parking ticket?” Jon asked, eyeing the piece of paper in Tim’s hand. “Fuck Tim, how many is that already?”
“I know, dickhead, you don’t have to rub it in,” Tim flung back. “Nick is gonna fucking kill me!”
Jon shrugged. “Here, I’ll get it settled for you. He doesn’t need to know.”
Tim stared at Jon with his mouth open. “What?”
“What?” Jon countered impatiently, “Do you want me to pay it or not? Give it to me!”
Tim looked at Jon’s outstretched hand, and shook his head slowly. “I … am supposed to tell Nick.”
“Yeah? And what’s that gonna get you, huh?” Jon asked a mite too spiteful for Tim’s taste.
“It’s my third one since … I can’t not tell him …”
“Why not? How’s he going to find out?”
“But …”
Jon raised his eyebrows and jabbed his fingers into Tim’s chest. “What’s Nick going to do if you tell him?”
Tim paled. “He … um … he said he would … s..spank me if it happens again.”
Jon rolled his eyes. “God! You’re fucking unbelievable! Why do you let him do that to you?”
Tim shrugged. “I don’t know. Actually … I … guess it helps. When I think about the consequences and having to explain to Nick why I haven’t done something, I tend to put more effort and get it done. It keeps me ahead and out of trouble. It’s stupid, I know, but it seems to be working … well, except for this damn parking thing …”
“Damn right it’s stupid!” Jon snapped.
Tim flinched. He looked at Jon, hurt.
“I don’t mean you, asshole! But this arrangement …”
“It HELPS!” Tim’s voice rose hotly.
“Whatever!”
Tim looked at Jon, eyes pleading. “Can’t you understand? It’s not a bad thing. You shouldn’t make it sound like a bad thing. ”
Jon flushed. “Who says I am?”
“Well, you don’t want to be part of our arrangement and you don’t even want to talk about it. Nick says we shouldn’t pressure you, and I agree. But … you’re mad all the time, at me!”
“I’m not mad at you,” Jon muttered.
“Are you mad at Nick then?”
Jon paused. “I guess not, except when he makes you do things!”
“Well, you shouldn’t be. He’s actually much more patient and understanding than I expected. It … I … I don’t make it easy for him sometimes.”
The silence hung between them.
Tim looked up, his cheeks reddening. “It’s sometimes very hard, you know. To have to be accountable for stuff, to own up, knowing what’s going to happen. He doesn’t let me get away with shit. I am always afraid he would, but he never does. He seems to know what I need without me having to ask, like … standing firm and …. dealing with my slip-ups. I need him to do that for me! Do you understand what I am saying, Jonny? It’s as hard for him; he needs to know exactly what to do to make it work. And he’s doing it. But at the same time I resist cause I don’t want to be p..punished. It’s confusing like hell for me too, Jonny.”
“Does he ever make you do anything you seriously don’t want to? Is there a way to stop him if you think he is hurting you more than you can take?”
Tim blinked. “You mean like a safe word? Um … no, it’s not a game or … or a scene. There are no safe words or time out. I have to trust Nick to know when to discipline me, and how. Besides, I don’t get spanked for everything, y’know. But when it happens … well, I can’t stop it by giving a safe word. I wish I could sometimes though.” Tim grinned suddenly. “His right arm feels like a rod of steel.”
Jon grunted, refusing to meet his lover’s eyes.
Tim looked at Jon’s pursed lips, and softly continued. “But afterwards, it’s always good. He would make me go over what I need to do to avoid a repeat, and then he holds me and … that’s when I feel incredibly close to him.”
Jon closed his eyes, trying to drown the shadow of hurt that flared deep in his chest. Tim’s voice held such a wistful note that he felt suddenly bereft and totally alone. His lovers had found a place of which he had no part. That thought wounded him beyond words.
“OK, so you WANT to get spanked over this parking ticket, little boy?” Jon’s deliberately flippant tone masked the pain he felt and he watched with sudden satisfaction as Tim flinched.
“No!”
Jon smirked, holding out his hand mockingly. With a sigh, Tim handed the ticket over.
“Don’t you tell him,” Tim hissed. “If he knows I lied to him … “
“Trust me!” Jon stuffed the ticket into his pocket.
[4]
“Why did you lie?”
Tim raised his eyes to Nick’s and immediately dropped them.
Nick’s tone was stern. “I am waiting for an answer, Timothy.”
In the distance, a door slammed. Tim grimaced and risked another look at Nick. “That’s Jon,” Tim said, his voice breaking.
“Let him go.”
“I c-can catch up with him … Can’t I go to him? Please?”
“No. Answer the question.”
“But he is so upset. I don’t want him to think I am mad with him …”
“Jon is fine. I’ll talk to him later. Now let’s get back to you. I want to know why you lied about the ticket.”
Tim knew it would do him no good, but he still dissolved into tears. Nick gently steered him into the designated corner, and left the room.
It had been decided between Nick and Tim that discipline would only be carried out in the spare room so that there would be constancy in the process, and also to spare Jon the discomfort of witnessing it. But the images that danced in his mind every time Nick and Tim disappeared into that room made it even harder for Jon. He could only guess what went on in there and if he even suspected it would lead to something physical, he ran. And this time, he was sure it would be very physical.
Nick prowled around the apartment, giving Tim time to calm down. Finding the parking ticket in Jon’s jeans pocket as he was doing the laundry had been as upsetting for him as it was for Tim. But as Nick suspected, it was Jon who took the biggest brunt of the impact and bore the greatest guilt. In his usual haphazard way, Jon had forgotten all about the ticket. His face had drained of blood when Nick waved the ticket at him. He had tried to hedge and claim the ticket as his own, but Nick had already read the details. Jon had watched helplessly as Tim was called into the punishment room.
“Are you calm enough to talk about it now?” Nick asked, not unkindly, when he re-entered the room. “Turn around, babe, and come here.”
Tim obeyed slowly, his stomach clenching tightly. At that moment, Jon’s question flashed into his mind and he suddenly wished he had a safe word. The fear of impending punishment made him want to end their agreement right there and then, like he always did right before he was about to be spanked.
“It’s not the end of the world,” Nick said softly, as he pulled Tim close and planted a brief kiss on Tim’s head. “It was a mistake. Two actually. One for getting the ticket in the first place, and two for hiding it from me. We deal with it, and we move on. Understand?”
Tim sighed and nodded, comforted by Nick’s tenderness and strengthened by Nick’s resolve. “Yes, Nick. I’m sorry.”
Without another word, Nick began to pull Tim’s sweat pants down, followed by his underwear. He had never spanked Tim with anything except his bare hand, so Tim was shocked when Nick picked up the hairbrush he had brought into the room earlier.
“Starting from now, lying will earn you a session with the hairbrush. Remember that!” Nick was very stern and Tim’s eyes stung as he was pulled over Nick’s thighs.
It was the worst spanking Tim had ever received. He found a world of difference between being spanked by a fleshy palm versus a piece of hard, unyielding wood. The hairbrush was solid oak and every swat was a stinging ordeal. The first smack was so loud and so painful it stunned Tim into silence, but not for long. He began yelling and pleading all the way through, each spank more painful than the one before, desperately twisting to get out of Nick’s grasp. Thankfully, it was not a long paddling; Nick obviously had no intention of dragging it out. A dozen or so spanks and it was over, but it was enough to reduce Tim to a crying, sniveling mess.
“I’ll never lie again, Nick, I swear, I won’t. Ever. Please don’t spank me with the hairbrush again, please …” Tim cried as he was engulfed in Nick’s strong arms.
Nick cradled Tim, rocking him gently. “Shh. We’re done. I know it hurt. I know. No more lying, is that clear?”
Tim nodded his head immediately, still gulping tears.
“Good boy. Tell me then how it should have been handled, Timothy ...”
[5]
“Are you sure you won’t come with us?” Tim asked, as he shrugged into his coat. He had just finished a week-long grounding and was looking forward to the two-hour drive to his mother’s place out in the country. “You’ll miss Mom’s pot roast and chocolate fudge? She made your favorites.”
Jon shook his head. “No, I have to finish this work, and then send it into the office. The guys are working overtime this weekend to meet the deadline. Just bring me back a serving of everything. And tell your mom I’m sorry and that I will make it up to her. Oh, and give her a kiss for me too, will ‘ya?”
Nick came over and wrapped his arms around Jon. He murmured into Jon’s ear. “You get your work done, Jonny. All of it. Because when we come back tonight, you are going to give us your full attention. One hundred percent. No distractions, ok? We’ll miss you.”
Jon turned around and gave Nick a tight squeeze. “Miss you too.” He buried his face into Nick’s chest and breathed in deeply. Nick tousled his hair and pushed his chin up and kissed him, long and deep.
Tim looked pleased and amused. “Hey, are we going or not?” he scolded teasingly.
Jon released Nick with a sigh, and pulled Tim over. “Your turn, Timmy.”
Tim giggled and returned the kiss enthusiastically as Jon crushed him with his hug. He raised his brows at Nick. Nick smiled back, with a shrug. Jon was totally unpredictable with his moods these days.
“Drive safely, you two. I love you!” Jon called from the door.
He watched as his lovers got into the elevator. He smiled and waited till the elevator doors closed and only then did he allow his mouth to turn down at the corners. Slowly, as if all the strength had seeped out of him, he closed the door and leaned against it. His body sagged and his shoulders hunched. He glanced blindly around, a mist of tears clouding his vision.
Then, with a determined shake, he went into the bedroom and started packing.
[6]
“He was in a good mood today, wasn’t he?” Tim whispered, as Nick steered him towards their jeep. “You think he will still be Mr. Sunshine when we get back?”
Nick glanced briefly at Tim as he slid into the driver’s seat. “Buckle up, Tim. Has he said anything to you lately? About us and the DP or anything else?”
“Not really. He was really, really upset over the parking ticket. Kept apologizing. But it’s been a week and he should be over it by now. I am, and I’m the one who got my ass busted! Did you scold him over it?”
Nick snorted as he pulled away from the sidewalk. “Your mom’s a fantastic cook! I’m stuffed.”
“Yeah, she is, and don’t change the subject!”
Nick laughed. “Well, I scold only when you deserve it and I think you both definitely deserved it for trying to hide the ticket and lying about it.” He patted Tim’s knee. “I did talk to Jon about it, and like you said, he was very sorry about what happened and kept blaming himself. He acknowledged that punishment, in this case, was rightfully deserved.”
“He didn’t think it was fair that I got spanked and grounded as well. Especially since he got away with nothing, and it was mostly his fault!”
“Mostly HIS fault, Timmy?”
Tim blushed. “Well …”
Nick nodded. “Exactly! Did you think it was unfair as well?”
Tim shrugged. “Maybe the hairbrush was a little too severe … ? “ he suggested hopefully.
“Nice try. Do we need to go over it again?” Nick asked sweetly.
“No,” Tim replied hastily. “No need. I guess it was fair.”
“Good.”
“Nick, you think he is finally accepting our arrangement?” Tim asked his voice hopeful.
“I am hoping he will eventually … “Nick frowned. “I don’t know. He seems … distant.”
“Distant? Yeah, that’s a good way to describe Jon these days.” Tim suddenly clasped his hands tightly together. “Nick, do you think Jon feels left out? Maybe he resents us?”
“Hell, I hope not!”
Tim said fretfully. “I don’t want him to think he’s not a part of us anymore.”
“I don’t want that either, honey.” Nick said as a feeling of hollowness settled in his stomach. Had he been insensitive to Jon’s needs, Nick wondered to himself.
Nick made a sudden decision. “Timmy, tomorrow the three of us are going to sit down and we are going to talk about it, whether he wants to or not. He’s been hurting himself too long. We’ve let him push you and me away and it’s not right! This has to be addressed.”
“If he’ll only give himself half a chance to try to understand … but he’s so stubborn. He may not want to talk or to listen. We’ve tried before, Nick.”
“Not hard enough. Its worth one more shot, isn’t it?”
“Yes, oh hell yes!”
[7]
“JON! Dinner is HERE!”
Nick winced. “Timmy, must you? Go and see if he is in the bath. He might have fallen asleep in there.”
Tim came out from the master bedroom, a puzzled look on his face. “Can’t find him anywhere. Something’s not quite right ….” He stopped as he saw Nick’s face. “What is it?”
Nick too was looking around, a frown marring his features. He stalked over to the closet, ordering sharply over his shoulder, “Check the wardrobe, Tim.”
Trembling, Tim headed back to the bedroom. He heard a muffled exclamation from Nick as he pulled the wardrobe open. “Fuck!” he whispered as he suddenly felt as if he had been punched in the stomach.
“Nick! Nick!” Tim ran back to the living area. Nick was fiddling through the contents on the table near the front door.
“His keys are gone.” Nick’s voice was toneless. “So are his shoes and jacket.”
Tim stopped in mid stride. “So are his clothes.” He was paler than a ghost. He stared at Nick, unable to utter a further word.
“Do you see a note? Letter? Anything?” Nick asked, briskly walking around the rooms, untidily flipping things in a totally uncharacteristic way.
“Where are you?” Tim whispered to no one in particular.
Nick glanced at Tim but didn’t respond. He headed into their bedroom, and re-checked the drawers and wardrobe. Tim could hear him cussing inside the room and he winced.
“Let me try his cell.” Nick emerged, and began punching in the numbers. “Shit!” he exclaimed as he snapped the phone shut. “Phone’s off!”
Nick threw his head back and stared up at the ceiling, thinking hard. The he strode swiftly into the spare room where they had set up the desktop and turned it on. His face was grimly set as he waited for it to boot, tapping his fingers impatiently as the computer softly whirled. He called up his mailbox and his hand shook as he saw one note from Jon, sent at 10.00am that morning.
All the while, Tim stood still, alone, in the middle of the living room.
TBC …
